Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Letters to myself

Remember when you were a teenager and you thought that by 25 you'd be married, have 2 kids, a job, a house... And well into the adulthood type lifestyle.
I almost forgot that I actually thought that at some point as a young teen ( I had myself pegged as the lifelong adventure seeking traveller since the age of 18 or so).
That was until I found a secret stash of journals and letters written anywhere between the ages of 13 and 17..
While most of my entries have to do with young love, and daily happenings... There were many containing quotes, future dreams, inspirations and insights... It's so interesting to look back and read all of those old feelings captured on paper- see which ones have drastically changed and which ones seemed to stay true to my personality. I'm sure one day I'll look back on all of these posts and think the same thing. It's like a little life journey - documented.
I think I will save all of those journals for my daughter- and let her pawn thought them when she's a teen ( I know- probably getting ahead of myself here)...
One letter tucked away in a diary stuck out and gave me a bit of the chills---
Scratched on a piece of loose leaf- was a letter to my future unborn child...basically saying how excited I was to meet them someday- and how I wanted to be a good mother and other little bits and pieces of how I believed they would be able to anything, what they would be like.. But it was very short piece-y and unfinished -Like someone must have walked in and interrupted the moment- or perhaps I fell asleep. It's not dated.... But I almost think I remember laying on my bed, writing my thoughts down in that horrible green ink. Hmmm...I guess I wasn't always so scared about being a mother :)
It also got me thinking that I really need to finish that letter.
I won't be posting it on here- because it will be meant for one little girls eyes only. But I am in process of writing a new letter to my unborn- but very real baby. I'll tuck it away- and give it to her sometime when she will need it most.
( or maybe re-read it at a time when I'll need to).
It's funny how we get to certain places in our life ... and how a little self reflection once in a while can teach us to appreciate how much we've grown.

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