Au naturale

So as i sort of blabbled about in the last post... As the weeks close in on me, I have been embracing this last stage of pregnancy.
With most of my aches and pains dissipated ( by some sudden miracle), room ready ( mostly), bag packed, showers and prenatal class behind us, and with a calm and newfound acceptance of what is to come----I am finding myself in a very peaceful place, and in no rush speed up these last 3 weeks.
I am very proud of how well my body is tolerating pregnancy. ( Now I'm not talking about weight gain and body image stuff... I have issues with that like any other normal person would-- and at the same time know its all part of it- and it bugs me less and less) What I'm talking about is my body's innate nature to seem to know exactly what to do to keep it healthy and to make the optimal nest for my little girl to grow in. Whether it be related to diet, healing, comfort or protection... My body has served me well without " me" having to over think things too much.
If I hurt, I stretch in all sorts of positions later to read about the multiple benefits of those particular movements... If I crave something... It seems to be just what my body needs ( aside from the occasional bacon), and same for when I have a food aversion--- probably something I shouldn't eat. My choice of activities (hula hooping for instance) -- seems to have been the perfect circular movement of my hips to help baby get well into my pelvis , where she needs to be.
Which is why I am hoping that it continues to do so, right through labour and delivery.
I have been spending more time lately thinking about the whole birthing process... And I feel that my nursing ears will be perked for all the medical lingo surrounding me- picking out key words and waiting on the reports of the "all important " apgar scores...
I have never really experienced pain.. Other than the odd gymnastics injury as a child, and frankly , have no idea how I will deal with it.

It's interesting, there was a time when I thought that the optimal birth experience would have to be a quick cesarean section. Numbed and leaving all of your lady bits intact just as they were before.

But the more I think about it, I have an increasing urge to try to forgoe as many medical interventions as possible and birth my child into the world as naturally as possible ( of course safety is my first priority... But this is assuming that isn't an issue).
So what is my " birth plan" ?
(Ideally)... I would like to stay home until I am having regular contractions..(which means staying at my mothers which is 20minutes away from the hospital rather than on an island with no labour and delivery support staff).
A little inconvenient- but much safer than risking birthing in an airplane or on a ferry.

I would love to be able to have a water birth ( this is where all my friends that call me a hippy will chuckle). However it is not an option in this province unfortunately. So at least being able to labour in a tub sounds nice. I'm hoping to be able to move around- use the birthing ball- and let gravity help facilitate things.

I'm hoping not to need to be induced with the pitocin drip- because that usually means that next comes the epidural to take care of the monster contractions.
If I get the epidural- then I know I will be confined to bed and unable to use my bodies natural coping methods of movement, swaying motions, gravity and such.
Really- you would never try to have a bowel movement while laying on your back- especially if you knew it was going to be a big one! ( sorry) so it just seems like it wouldn't be optimal position to birth a child.
And then there is that flood of natural hormones that our body so graciously gives us- just when we need it most.

It seems that a women's body just naturally knows how to bring these little miracles into the world, and is better equipt than we give it credit for.

The question is... Can I handle it? Will it really be mind over matter, or will I be that crazy girl in room 3b screaming for the epidural at the top of my lungs?
I sure hope not.
And at the risk of sounding much more granola than health care professional --- I think that being able to bring baby into the world minus all of the drugs and extra recovery those interventions require- just seems like a better option.

So what have been doing to prepare myself?
Lots of pep talks, reading on coping and breathing techniques.... And crossing my fingers that my perineum has some magical elasticity power that I don't know about. Heee..Heee..whoooo!! ( my attempt at breathing).

I came across some really inspirational words the other day in one of my searches that I have been reading a few times a day... Maybe it will help.
I'll post it for you to read shortly.

I must say little babe... You have seemed to get me more in tune with my body ( and mind) more than any yoga or meditation class ever has. I hope you enjoy you last few weeks in your little nest as much as I am :) xox

Home stretch

If I had my baby right now... She would officially be considered full term. That said... I guess that it means that we are on the home stretch, and this whole birth thing is just around the corner.

I have been feeling a lot better these days. My back is functioning like normal and I no longer require assistance in on and off the toilet. I think that that has also helped boost my mood significantly... You know...being able to move freely, sleep, enjoy my days off again.
I'm much less grouchy.
Feeling a little more like myself--- just a chipmunk cheeked version of myself.........

I know it's happening. The chubby cheeks, wider nose, darker freckles ect ect... When I smile- especially in the morning when swelling is at its peak- my cheeks rise sooo high they start to decrease my vision. Why!! Haha...
I guess I can't complain too much, with only 3 weeks left... And should just embrace it? I'm trying, and I know it's all part of it. I should just be greatful that I still have ankles and knuckles and no stretch marks... Yet.... ( fingers crossed)

Last appointment went well. Everything is normal and right on track! The doctor predicted that babe is "long"... And has already started the " great decent" down into my pelvis. In fact- I was surprised when during my exam, the. doctor informed me that she touched the babies head with her finger. Eeek.. Too much information?? Haha.. Sorry... But with weekly visits... The dilation and cervix talk is bound to only get worst.
I almost didn't tell Robby that last bit of information--- I'm sure that puts all sorts of bad visions in his head ( but of course I couldn't keep it to myself )
Now, thinking back... I wish I had have asked her if she felt any hair... Haha...

Again- sorry for the visuals---

The one thing everyone keeps asking me as my due date quickly approaches.
"Are you excited? Are you ready to get that baby out??"

Truthfully... No. But not because I'm not happy. I think I'm just a late bloomer. In fact, I think I'm not ready to have her yet because I do feel happy. It took me a long time to get used to the idea of being pregnant and the fact that I will actually be someone's mother. I feel like I am just starting to really enjoy pregnancy, and really don't want these last few weeks to rush by so I can make up for all of those doubts and confused feelings at the beginning.
The more she kicks and wiggles around, the closer I am feeling to her...

I can't believe it's so close now. It's so surreal.

Nesting

It is approximately 3 am, and I think I have awaken with my very first real case of nesting.
I woke after dreaming all night ( the last 4 hrs) of talking to people about the baby, "being ready", and scrambling around to prepare. So when I opened my eyes- I was feeling pretty exhausted.
... And then my brain officially turned on. As I lay in my bed, trying to get back to sleep..I started thinking about packing the hospital bag, and how I needed to do laundry to wash some of the cutesie outfits little bean has received. Tossing and turning a little more, trying to get back to sleep... And it seems I have woken someone inside.
So off to the bathroom, for a late night bladder empty, a quick check for stretch marks, cream application, a few yoga stretches..... And then I find myself down the hall in the baby's room--- frantically going through newborn/ 3 month clothes searching for a perfect outfit.
Next thing I know, I'm looking for accessories and socks and shoes... Ahhh ... Do newborns even need that? Well I will pack some anyways.
I find myself ripping apart my newly received diaper bag for the first time.... Hmm... Now what are all these compartments for... Diapers, I know I can easily pack some diapers.
Going through some more bags and drawers, the next thing I stumble upon in an unopened container of " nipple cream".... Shoot... I haven't started using that either.... Better slop some on now, just to be safe.
Oh dear... Look at all of these decorations and fixtures I have yet to put up... Soon enough I am walking around the room, pacing and testing placement of pictures ect.
Since it is 3 am, and my brain is working in a less than semi-functional mode... I decide to stop... Sit on the floor and just start folding receiving blankets to sooth my anxious mind... Unaware of how bizarre my actions are. Until--- I'm busted!
First it's by the dog, whom is now giving me the same puzzled look I gave her when she was hastily pawing up blankets in the days leading up to the birth of her puppies.
And then I see Rob standing in the doorway- staring at me all squinty eyed- to which I replied in a half embarrassed voice, a simple--- " can't sleep, haha"
I hadn't actually gotten any further in packing a hospital bag then when I waltzed into the room 45 minutes ago.
Just kind of made a little organized mess.
So I grabbed my pregnancy wedge pillow, (hmm, which might be why I walked into the room in the first place) decided to save this task for daylight hours and made my way back towards my bed.
( of course- stopping to write this short and probably poorly written post)

So I guess this is a little bit of the nesting feeling kicking in.

Scared silly soon to be new mom = 0
Motherly instinct= 1

Time for some more interrupted sleep- night night!

Belly shots

33 weeks & 34 weeks

Seems to be changing quickly now and rounding out! Week 35 soon to come :)

Karma police

Story time!
Well I have been feeling pretty fantastic ( besides round and such),and was just getting ready to brag about it in a post ... And then I ran into "karma"....
Remember that extra set I grew since being pregnant... Well I put them to good use... And then karma bit me in the butt ( back).. For being a meany.

It was a lovely september day. Sunny, just warm enough for a soon to be mom to frolic around in a Tie dye sundress. Barefoot, toes in the sand, connecting with nature... Breathing in the ocean air, listening to the waves.... On a completely empty beach- just me and my dogs. Sounds perfect doesn't it?
This blissful afternoon of relaxation and gentle meditation continuing on in this manner for about an hour and a half... Until the pups were played out and my stomach started growling for some dinner.
As I made my way back across the beach, I saw a man watching from a distance and the parking area of the beach... He also had a dog, so instead of making my way up the trail to my parked car, ( the same trail he was likely headed down), I went to the far end of the beach and waited for this other dog & beach lover, to head on their own beach adventure.
Time passed and apparently this man did not seem to get the hint, and remained at the foot of the trail with his giant golden retriever.
I decided it was time to head back anyways... Like the rule breaker I am ( or just plain forgetful and too lazy once I realized).. My leash was in my car.
Once my dogs spotted the other, they rushed over to investigate this new dog on the beach.
Ahhh. A 10 second growling match, followed by purely gentle playing and sniffing. Shoot... I was halfway down the beach and could move about as fast as ... Well... An 8 month waddling pregnant girl in a maxi dress.
But it was too late. By the time I had called my delinquent doggies back to my side I had a very angry and erratic man yelling obsenities at me... Arms flailing around like a lunatic... Unleashed dog of his own running around him.
As I walked by him ( dogs not even giving him or his pooch a second sniff) and apologized, he was still in a angry arm flailing state.
Goodbye happy beach girl. Hello sour prego face.
I scurried up the hill, and preceded to write a note for ( as it turns out- a tourist from far away) this mans windshield. Which started as a apology and quickly pointed out that we both at fault if neither of us were using leashes... And that a grown man need not to scream like a bloody lunatic At another person while visiting "our island"... Blah blah blah....
Then, by the time I was finished, decided that there was no need for all those words, and simply left a one word note under his wiper. Grrrrr.... I was so mad.
Feeling kind of tough and satisfied all at once , I got ready to drive home, and helped my 70 lb puppy onto the back of the truck....
And that is when karma slapped my bitchy butt right to the ground.
All of those loose and stretchy ligaments had finally given out. And there I was sobbing and taking propped up baby steps to the front seat of the truck- hoping that my new man friend did not decide to come up the trail and lend a hand (or flailing arm).
I have often thought about leaving a little note for someone when they have really ticked me off.... But never have I done it. And let me tell you... I will never ever do it again. Karma or no karma - it is just too risky.

Thankfully, I had a strong fisherman at home to help me transition from couch to floor, and on and off the toilet that night ( that brings in a whole other level of comfort--- probably useful for the delivery room)
With some stretching, hot baths, a prenatal massage, visit to the doctor, and a little bit of hooping, and one very attractive stabilization belt.... I am functioning like an obese 89 year old instead of a 104 yr old... And slowly getting better everyday.

I have really gotten use to being active during my pregnancy and refuse to give in to all of the aches and pains and complaining. At just over 35 weeks... I am praying that my back lasts the next 4-5 and I can continue to do all the things that I enjoy... And all of the things I waited to do until I "had time " once I was finished work.

So if you see me waddling around with my sexy sacroiliac maternity back brace, let it be a reminder to think before you act.
And not to pick up large dogs while pregnant- whether you bend your knees or not ;)

Showers....errr.. friends? :)

Its about time for another post I suppose. I have written a couple since my last, but they were very down and hormoney-- the kind that if my little bean were to read later in life somehow- she may throw it back in my face and tell me I'm horrible. So they are (for now) hidden and just part of this ever evolving process of motherhood.

Today's focus is all on the happy! ( hmmm... pregnancy and bipolar seem to sound like they have alot in common sometimes.... anyways).

I was once again reminded of how much I am surrounded by love and an abundance of generous and supportive friends and family.  Today was my baby shower #2... at my parents home, with some close friends and of course my small little family ( some far away but still sending all sorts of encouraging 

words and goodies for baby).  

It was soooo unbelievably nice to see some familiar faces of close friends and to spend time catching up- talking about how much life has changed for all of us.  Its funny how much even just a few hours with a close friend can rekindle and refresh your soul.  We take for granted the days where we do nothing but hang out with out friends, talk for hours on the phone, and lay around and laugh like fools ( guess I'm having a little moment of reminiscing about the teenage years... bear with me)...Then we get jobs and partners, houses, and children, and priorities and responsibilities... people move away and it takes much more effort to keep those friendships alive.  Although I feel sad lots of the time because I don't see those close friends in my life nearly as much as I like-- I feel so blessed that when we do see each other... its like even though all the time has passed ( and we might need to do some catching up on the details), all the love, closeness and caring is still there like no time has even passed at since the days I used to run my parents phone bill through the roof ( and liquor cabinet into the ground).  I really like my friends. They're pretty great. 

Since this is turning into a little friend rant-- I feel like I need to keep going a little more. Lately I feel like I have heard a lot of people complaining about how many friends you lose when you get pregnant-- the classic saying " You really find out who your friends are..."

I feel like I can say I have had the opposite experience- even though I am living away from all of "friends from home".  When I do come home from the "island", my friends always seem to make an effort to work their prego friend into their schedules, and listen to me in various states of hormonal bliss or rage. I still get long distance "check up " phone calls from friends moved far away, and encouraging little messages just when I seem to be building up anxiety about this upcoming stage of life.  The majority of my close friends at home have already experienced motherhood and lots of its ups and downs--- and are welcoming me to the mommy club with big smiles and lots of pep talks ( even though I was probably that annoying friend begging them to just "find a sitter and come out" at one time).

Life on the island... well let me tell you... for only living there and being around for such a short time- I have blessed with an amazing little circle of supportive friends that I know will be "lifers" to add to the mix. Not once have I felt excluded because of being pregnant... and in fact, I have had a pretty fantastic social life, filled with lots of heart to heart chats, day adventures, hikes, evening outings... and all the help anyone could ever ask for preparing for the baby. Its crazy how quickly some people come into your life... and even though you down have all those years of history behind you---the friendships can be just as close as ones that have. 

Ahh... and family... well I cant even go there right now because this will go on forever. I'm spoiled to have such an amazing immediate and extended family that do anything and everything to make sure that we are taken care of and happy.

Sometimes we just need to take a moment to think about how lucky we are. I guess I just took that moment....

I think I'll finish my thought-interrupted post about baby showers tomorrow morning-- and go to sleep with a smile right now.

...... little baby.... I sure hope you don't get mommy's ADHD

Sunday snoogles

Well, I'm writing this post from bed...all curled up in my Snoogle.
Since this is my first baby, I'm really not sure how long these things have been around for.... But my god..... They are amazing and absolutely every pregnant person should have one. In fact,I can't imagine giving it up post pregnancy- so it might just be here to stay.
It's hard to say it this brilliant invention was thought up by an expecting mom, who got sick of tossing and turning all night..... Or by a soon to be dad, who got tired of hot and heavy pregnant snuggles / being treated like a giant body pillow.
Either way. Thank you. It has been my sleep time lifeline for the past 2 months. Basically, if you have never seen a Snoogle.. It looks like a full on, extra special body pillow in some weird wrap around shape. It snuggles your belly, legs, head and backside all at once... Pure heaven. Highly recommended.
Anyways, it's Sunday and I'm feeling a little lazy... So back to snoogling I go.... Ahhhhh...